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Flavors of tired
Nov. 13th, 2005 04:16 pmYosh, I am tired & sore. Spent 5 hours moving dirt & rocks at the dog park yesterday. I could have put a few more hours in, but I'm just as glad I didn't. When I got home though I was lonely, wanted company but was too tired to go out (not to mention I didn't have anywhere to go). So I sat on my couch, acheing, sore and a bit wistful and thought to myself on the variety of tired.
There is a deep, bone tired where I wouldn't have wanted to do anything but eat something and go to bed. I just didn't work long enough to get to that state, it's an increadibly satisfying place for me to be and I was disappointed I hadn't reached it. On the other hand it is too easy to get hurt getting yourself that tired so it's not a good idea to do that a lot.
But there is something deep in my body that wants to work that hard on a regular basis. Too damn bad I determined years ago that working that hard would never get me the money, acclaim, or respect that I want. And it's hard to get yourself to work regularly when it is that hard and the rewards that paltry. Part of it is I want to be my dad, he did work that hard most of his life, and put a lot of effort into making sure I never had to.
When I used to jog regualrly, there was a tired I got before my bodies aerobic cycle kicked in. It was the only tired I think I experienced growing up, it's probably what most people mean by tired. But once I got aerobic I stopped being tired, I became focused and in tune with my self. It is euphoric, I remember the first time I ever ran over 3 miles and was shocked to realize I wasn't tired, that I felt like I could run forever.
Then there is another tired, when I have a long hard day at work. I'll head home and I had been thinking of taking the pups to the park but can't rouse myself to actually go out there. That's more a tired of the will than of the physique, I suspect it is related though. If I exercised more I suspect I would have the energy to go out and exercise after work but the thought of that most days is just more than I am up to.
There is a deep, bone tired where I wouldn't have wanted to do anything but eat something and go to bed. I just didn't work long enough to get to that state, it's an increadibly satisfying place for me to be and I was disappointed I hadn't reached it. On the other hand it is too easy to get hurt getting yourself that tired so it's not a good idea to do that a lot.
But there is something deep in my body that wants to work that hard on a regular basis. Too damn bad I determined years ago that working that hard would never get me the money, acclaim, or respect that I want. And it's hard to get yourself to work regularly when it is that hard and the rewards that paltry. Part of it is I want to be my dad, he did work that hard most of his life, and put a lot of effort into making sure I never had to.
When I used to jog regualrly, there was a tired I got before my bodies aerobic cycle kicked in. It was the only tired I think I experienced growing up, it's probably what most people mean by tired. But once I got aerobic I stopped being tired, I became focused and in tune with my self. It is euphoric, I remember the first time I ever ran over 3 miles and was shocked to realize I wasn't tired, that I felt like I could run forever.
Then there is another tired, when I have a long hard day at work. I'll head home and I had been thinking of taking the pups to the park but can't rouse myself to actually go out there. That's more a tired of the will than of the physique, I suspect it is related though. If I exercised more I suspect I would have the energy to go out and exercise after work but the thought of that most days is just more than I am up to.
