litch | Target sucks

I'm going back to my paper as it must be finished by Monday or else! (It was originally due on Oct. 21) And yes, when I'm stalled, bored, etc. and you know how "hyper" I am (your word description of me) and you know what a bitch I am and can be (my own description/acknowledment of myself, esp. when I'm angry) I just look for anything to do.
That said: I find your "friends list" as interesting and, with the EXCEPTION OF Stickcow (and previously Faustin Wish, but for some reason I really do care about her [as in her education, her wellbeing, her self-esteem, her writing ability, etc. Faustian Wish has got some talent as some of her writing moves me and that's not an easy feat. . .] as recently I saw something in her that reminded me too much of myself and that's why i felt compelled to offer that "confidence boost" --- I was shocked that I did care. And thus, Litch, YOU KNOW I DO care and care very passionately and deeply about 99.8 percent of the people I interact with. . .) , I have enjoyed getting to chat with some of your friends and even their friends via their friends list. I thought, therefore, perhaps that was how folks got to know each other via this blogosphere.
Indeed: I was happy and delighted & even surprised this morning to be greeted by emails from two dudes came to know via such friends' wandering. A friend of Molasses who wrote one of the most beautiful posts I've ever read. He even commented that he was happy I had "made it" to his blog. I am happy 2. His post really was so beautiful I had to print it out and the poem that ran along side of it, too. And then there was the reply from that awfully fine and terribly sexy dude who makes my heart beat fast from just looking at him, Dirtstar (YEOW!!!! Pant! Pant!). And never mind the really nice post and larger picture I got from Dave of the seagulls on the beach. I was so happy he sent me a big pic to print out. . .
Gee: I just noticed that, with the exception of Molasses [she is one of the view nonwriters I know who has exquisite enough taste to be aware of Jhumpa Lahiri and I was telling her about my meeting with her] I guess it's primarily the MEN that I haven't had problems with on your friends list. Now I can't possibly explain the how and why of that particular dynamic, OK? But I just throw these examples out here so you can rest assured that I don't go to your blog looking to fight with anyone.
But I'm still shocked and amazed that I can ask a chick in the UH IT dept about "speakers" or that I can't share an idea about the possible sociological dynamics/choices of the Target pharmary without Stickcow thinking I have opened up the door to HER ATTACK OF ME!
But I guess you don't have a problem with others attacking me and just only my defending myself against such an attack? Interesting. I will assume that maybe it's because you hate to see me show my ass in a fit of anger and that you know that I should know better than to rip folks to shreds just because they pissed me off.
I hope that's what your motive is.
Nonetheless, I know when you are, essentially, looking at me and pointing and shouting as a demand: "CRATE!"
I'll try my very, very best NOT to growl, seethe and narrow my eyes in anger as you also tighten up the collar and shorten the leash on the BITCH in need of discipline.
And, agin: IF ONLY because it's YOUR HANDS, I won't bite.
c

I have seen you over-react three seperate times on my journal, in response to me, stick, & faustian_wish. There was provocation, but it did not rise to the level of your response. You are reacting to people challanging your words and idea like they are challanging you personally. You really seem to be looking for a fight, an emotional scene that has enough drama to distract you from your own life.

I understand that, I've done it a lot in my life (and I acknowledge it is possible I am projecting my own stuff on you) but it's not something I should have in my life. I'm sorry you feel attacked, I really don't see it and I think think the way you defended yourself was immature. I have a particular objection to someone announcing they're ignoring someone in response to something that was said, it is intellectually lazy. When you then compound it by conitnuing to respond to them, all the time claiming to be ignoring them, you add hypocrisy into the mix.

I am not doing a scene with you, we have not negotiated any limits, and I don't do "lifestyle". I think you were out of line in a way that particularly offended me in my journal so I called you on it.

OK: you're right.
But it was a public scene for you to "call me on it."
And I disagree that I'm LOOKING for a fight. I have told you time and again: I hate having to fight, but have always found difficult walking away from one. It's like I hate folks to assume that I won't defend myself or my words. But Litch --- this much you already know about me and this aspect of my personality even recently played itself out with my relationship with my boss at work where she never ever expected me to stand up to her the way I did. So consider (as you already know) that there are things that go on in my life to where this is a constant theme. I say something and then, boom --- I get attacked for just asking someone I work with about speakers or commenting on what happened at a Target pharmacy.
But what you offered to me was all about putting me in my place. And I don't have a problem with that, esp. when I'm wrong and out of line. Indeed: I value it. Why? Frequently I'm the last person to know I'm out of line and that's the truth.

Again: there's too much proof regarding any # of posts I've made any number of places that indicate that I'm NOT looking for a fight at all. So, again: I maintain that it has only been with the folks that you mention that there seems to be that kind of behavior that you criticize in your post. So when I say you're "right" it is only with the people you name.
How am I looking for a fight by adoring Molasses' wedding dress?
How am I looking for a fight by applauding ContentLove's penchant for skepticism when she presents some issues regarding stories of the Hurricane Katrina coverage?
How was I looking for a fight when I made my comment about her Target sucks story?
How am I looking for a fight when I admire Dave's photos?
I could go on and on to offer examples of how you seem to be painting a very broad brush as if every time I have something to say, I'm desiring an argument and that assessment is flat out wrong, Litch. Again: this only relates to problems I've had with Stickcow and Faustian Wish as far as times when I KNOW I was being attacked in a way that seemed to have little or nothing to do with what I had to say, but the fact that I STATED IT. In other words: I guarantee if anyone else had stated it they wouldn't have attacked that person at all.
And let's face --- shit got funky toward me with some of your female friends toward me the very moment, I do believe, when you posted some pictures on YOUR BLOG and specifically noted to the world that I had been up at your place. I had made mention of that fact, too by way of telling Gev about how I had accidentally closed your browser once.
And then let's face this: My blog, while inactive, has gone no where. So who wasn't made aware of the big fight we had when you put that quiz on your blog that infuriated me and THEN YOU had to post that thing of, "Why is NewBlksusan pissed at me?" And we know what happened in August. . .it's all on both of our blogs for anyone to see whenever it strikes their fancy. Shit, I've often wished I could delete all of it and have tried, but I cannot.
I guess the point being we can't "erase" our mistakes when they're all their to see on LJ and so any "proof" of my behavior is there for everyone to see and to know I have only "fought" with three people only since I've been on LJ: you, Stickcow and Faustian Wish. That's IT.
So let's be factual and I will accept that.
As for looking for drama to distract myself from my life. No: I'm looking for connection. You've always known that about me. There are FAR TOO MANY POSTS FROM ME ON LIVE JOURNAL THAT SUPPORT THAT. No drama from me when I'm discussing an author with Molasses or how she made her dress. No drama from me when I'm telling Dirtstar how I'd like to rip his clothes off. No drama from me when I'm telling Gev about my love of the Mets. So stick to the facts, Litch, please. Don't try to paint me as someone who is stalking LJ "looking for fights" because that's just NOT TRUE.
And I refuse to have someone paint me with such a broad stroke of a brush to win this or any argument, OK?

I don't think you are always looking for a fight. I think you have a chip on your shoulder such that when someone does pose a challange to your ideas, you overreact and attack them. You act like you are in physical danger when you're not.

Nothing more to say.

How ironic.
I had just awakened from a very nice, beautiful sleep based on something that I experienced on someone else's blog right before I closed my eyes. No joke. Indeed, I'm certain I noted in my post on this gentleman's particular blog that he had provided for me the most amazing, beautiful image for me to be able to close my eyes and lull myself to sleep. That's how my mind works. Unfortunately, if I read something before I go to bed (as I'm always reading something ) I WILL have whatever from what I read infiltrate my sleep/dreams. It happens ALL THE TIME. . .
so given all the stress and demands on my life I USE LIVE JOURNAL TO SEARCH FOR BEAUTY, INSIGHT, CONNECTION TO WONDERFUL IDEAS AND WONDERFUL PEOPLE. That's what writers/artists do constantly --- look for sources of inspiration and for "connection". I've told you that in private emails for goodness sake, Litch! I even told you that in a private email I had sent you BEFORE you made your post so what is up with that, your acting like you don't know the real reason why I surf LJ and how what I have valued most about my LJ connections has not ususally come to me courtesy of what appears on your blog! But your blog has, in a odd way TAKEN ME TO PLACES/PEOPLE for which or whom I AM GRATEFUL I HAVE ENDED UP!
and there are people who know this based on what they've seen me post on their blogs, OK?
I can't remember the name of the one chick, but I was in awe of the picture of her Nan and the background and even started a short story about that photo (I noted that I would and I did. My mind works that way so that's what I REALLY do when I'm "DISTRACTED" --- look for ways to inspire myself in MY WRITING that has NOTHING to do with YOU or your blog, but my own need to keep the fires of my CREATIVITY going. Why would you deny that truth, Litch? There are too many posts from me on any number of blogs that can verify what I just typed. And some of the folks who regularly read your blog may, therefore, be nodding their heads in absolute agreement as they read this, thinking of things they've seen from me on their blogs or that of their friends when I was not about "drama" or a "fight" so don't generalize about me, OK?
And I'm not going to let you ruin what was the most restful sleep I have had, courtesy of reading some really awful nice poetry and seeing these breathtaking image of the moon coming through the clouds. And that image/photo and the lines of the poetry lulled me to sleep. That's what I use Live Journal for. But let's face it: I can't get that from your blog and I guess why you're only characterizing based on what YOU choose to see, but not only what others see and truly KNOW.

I was in a good mood when I woke up and really cannot believe that you have damn near ruined that with, again, your penchant to misrepresent and mischaracterize me based on the funky attitude and behavior two of your friends have shown me since Day One. And I'm just someone who is trolling through all of Live Journal looking to fight with everyone whenever I'm on it, the way you write your post.
That's such a bold-faced fucking lie, Litch, and you KNOW IT.
I'm sick of this tendency of yours to project shit onto me that has nothing to do with the truth. Too many of your "friends" on LJ can no doubt point to any # of posts I've made on their blogs that contradict all that you state.
Get your facts straight, dude. Please.
I'm not so sure why you tend to want to bend the truth, especially whenever it relates to me. Makes me wonder.
Now I have an "extra hour" of time to use wisely. And I'm not going to waste one more minute of it on you.

Target sucks

And if this was a "test" 2 prove 2 others that u CAN "make me" obey u: U win!

No, I am not doing a public scene

Re: And nor will I (do a public scene) in response. And I do believe I've already posted a msg sayin

Oh: amendment to previous post. You're right to an extent. . .

Re: Oh: amendment to previous post. You're right to an extent. . .

Re: Whatever, Litch. Again: u win, OK?

I just woke up from a very nice, beautiful & much needed sleep as a result of someone else's blog. I

Re: I have no interest in arguing with you, not about this or anything. OK?